Hello World

"We move Mountains"

"I am more than you see"

Did you ever wonder what it would be like to have everything given to you the moment you ask for it?  Wouldn't it be grand? But would we ever learn any lessons in struggles, self, or real-life examples of what it means to sacrifice and love?

So here I am World with my basket full of dreams, and a path laid out with un-foretold pages. Well, found a job that I perceived would be my nesting ground, but then relocated leaving me in survival mode. Friends that professed to love me beyond the call, could no longer walk, or stand beside me while the clouds approached. The other; a man who claimed to be my soul mate, awakened my soul's desire for marriage, attempted to tear down walls of self-preservation, prepared our lives for marriage, and then tested my faith beyond the storms all just to become the one that existed in the midst of my life's greatest battle.  
His main reason: he didn't want a woman whose neshama (soul) was at the Holy Altar or have spiritual convictions.

Yes, my ship was abandoned while I braved the storms of life, and felt like Kate Winslet in the Titanic floating on a piece of debris, surrounded by nothing but stagnant bodies, in my weakened stage calling out, "Come back, is anyone out there"? But someone is out there and here as I forge through the darkness.  And it is the One that made me that is steering this ship to arrive at my Bashert (Destiny)
The Divine always has other plans. Yes, Big plans actually!!!
And so this is my story. 

I have set My rainbow in the clouds, and it will be the sign of the covenant between me and Thee~

We shape our lives by telling our story, by drawing each desert moment, our walk up to Sinai, and our very own Red Sea crossings. Please take a stroll with me as I share my remarkable tale of my own spiritual quest.

Born of parents from Germany and a native myself, I was a curious child, coloured with a rainbow of imaginations, one that lived in a world that did not make sense, yet everything had personality. I wanted to know why I desired to talk to G-d, this mysterious being called the Creator. My search for that meaning began at the age of five.

A favourite childhood memory I recall was awakening in the dawn, scurrying down the stairs into the gardens overlooking a travelled roadway. There was an anticipation of joy in viewing what new activities gave way to living in this colourful sanctuary. The rock in the garden was my friend because I need to know if it was the G-d of the no-name or the deity that many worshipped in the land. My conversations were such each day, “But are you my Creator?” "Are you going to grow big and give me lots of candy", and "Why am I so different?”.

Awakening the dawn motivated me to talk to nature, hoping it would aid my understanding of what mediation at sunrise meant. With frequent visits, I began to name everything with names such as Mr Rock, Mr Moon, Mr Sun, etc. My eyes would glare at the bright moon with smiles asking for special wishes, thinking it was magical. The garden for me was a place of quietness away from the life that was a mystery. It gave me a sense that I was not alone as a child, and that there is a spiritual essence larger than the life within me. As an orphan, my Jewish identity in the many foster homes was hidden, yet that secret challenged me to learn of my heritage and calling at all costs. 

This search would leap forward to spiritual hunger that became a flame of curiosity. With the new paths paved to the unknown lands, I silently sojourned into foreign plains. It was truly the land of the “ITES”. It is here I learned to war for my soul hoping not to abort the mission by journeying inwardly in order for me to heal the inner man. It was here I learned who I am and how I needed to be emptied from all false input of what love is and Who my Maker is. Finding that grain of truth, both love and awe was needed for my relationship with The Eternal One. As the times approached, the yearnings of my soul tugged harder for a way out from my gilded cage of foreigners.

I touched on that brief story because it was the foundation of the path that has made way for me today. That roadway was filled with much unquestionable joy, tears, hardships, and feelings of despair that yet brought many blessings, and newfound treasures. Each circumstance was my teacher of deliverance, growth, and elevation. My spiritual nudge finally identified with the one called the Creator my Everything. The threads that knit my life aided me to rise above my disappointments each time and attract those that are life-affirming instead of life-draining. I searched for wisdom and shared with you that these moments mattered; each had plots and sequences that are markers of who I am.  

As I approached a different land it was a land where the stories of the Torah became my companion, where I laid under the stars at night dreaming of my own ladder to truth, as Jacob did. Being Jewish to me meant making a choice every day, a choice to honour myself and those that walk with me on this path. During these seasons, I had to face with courage and conviction to overcome social, cultural, and religious barriers in order for me to achieve wholeness.

It is here I learned to reconcile with the good, the bad and the ugly as I embrace who I am and what I am called to be in the Divine. It is here that I learned how to cry hard, but love even harder. It is here I walked around my own wall of Jericho and sang praises as Miriam did in order for doubt to be demolished. It is here I learned of my inner gifts and how to use them for good and embrace each Mitzvah. It is here I danced as David did when he won his battles. It is here I learned the secret of the Spirit by doing my physiological work but not forsaking the soulish work. It was here my tears were my offering instead of grain or wine. It was here I learned the language of love and how to receive from those that loved me with a pure heart. It is here I learned not to worry about the little things but be grateful for all things. It is here I prayed like Hannah in the Temple each day for the desires of my heart to be answered. Yes, it is here that I stand today, and say for such a time as this, my journey has been a remarkable tale of Empowerment and Soul Refinement. 

It is here I have exchanged my ashes for beauty and learned how to have the brilliant shine instead of defeat. It is here this very hour I cross over to the place where my forefathers too journeyed to the promise as I recognize there are lives that will glean through mine in order to be free. It is here that the paintings and the poems that are my life have always taught me divine truth about my destiny and that call to live a higher purpose is with heart and spirit. And it is here I choose to live in the Light of my Maker~              

I acknowledge those who have not allowed me to be stranded on the roadway, but embrace me with the Light of hope and love; you truly are my friends in this hour.  "Thank you". Your support has been like water to a parched land.
To my Creator for continually reminding me that through the pain, will birth treasures that cannot be purchased by man. And I offer thanks to my adversaries because through the struggles, you have caused my path to emerge. 

"Always bloom where you are planted"                       

Yes, we all have stories that paints us who we are as people. These times are identified as
"Royalties" that will not be permitted again. Learn from them,  take a look in the mirror, then ask yourself  

Who and what  do you believe in? 

Greatness does not come without sacrifice. After all, these are the lessons of self image, egos, dreams, and passion. What are you willing to lay at The Alter in order to have a heart aflame with nothing but Pureness, Love, and Charity?

Let us begin to write our own legacies, and love stories that will transform the human spirit. 

May the Eternal one of the Universe pursue me continually with love and remind me I am His that I may welcome His people under the tents of righteousness.    

"I honor those who won the War"